


Dear Anders

by Padme4000



Series: Fictober 2018 [2]
Category: Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins - Awakening
Genre: Character Death, F/M, Mentions of blood and wounds, main pairing is Anders/Female Hawke, set during Dragon Age during Inquisition after Here Lies the Abyss mission
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-27
Updated: 2018-10-27
Packaged: 2019-08-17 14:02:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,031
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16517843
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Padme4000/pseuds/Padme4000
Summary: Anders recieves a letter he doesn’t want to read.





	Dear Anders

**Author's Note:**

> Fictober18 Prompts:  
> 10\. “You think this troubles me?”  
> 18\. “You should have seen it.”  
> 24\. “You know this, you know this to be true.”

Anders was pacing. Justice was pacing. Both were agitated.

“Would you stay still!” The woman across from them was frowning, her hands on her hips. “And I thought Alistair was a pacer.” She mutters under her breath.

When he doesn't stop pacing she slams the palms of her hands on the table so hard that she hears a distinct crack, as the legs nearly snap under the force of the smack. Papers and letters flying to the ground.

The sound finally snapping Anders out of whatever or wherever his mind had drifted off too. 

Her frown nearly began to lessen when he actually stopped but then she spotted the darkening tunic. Darkening with a dark red colour. Her eyes widen, rushing to her friend. “Anders you're hurt!” Her exclamation this time one of concern rather than frustration.

Her hand lifts his tunic without thought, when a hand with blue like veins grabs her own. She looks up and the look on her face practically says there is no room for arguments. Both the man and the spirit calming for the moment under the familiar expression. Though the turmoil in their eyes remains.

He could have likely healed it but Freya knew better than to ask, so she instead tended to his wound. Cleaning the blood away before wrapping him up. Thankful that it was only a superficial scratch she'd ask later about. It didn't stop her from giving them a look of disapproval however.

When he saw her look he spoke without thought and a gesture to his side, “You think this troubles me?” His other hand which she hadn't noticed till now was holding a scrunched up letter. Yet to be opened if the seal was anything to go by. “This troubles me!” He shoved it into her chest where she now spotted one word. A name. Anders.

She looked up in confusion wondering what about his name made him so on edge. What about seeing his name troubled him so much. Only people he trusted knew where he was. What… then she looked closer. Noting the a and r specifically. Two letters their names had in common. Her eyes widened and her hands began to shake as she recognised the penmanship. The penmanship of someone she was now in regular contact with.

Varric had written to him. “Anders.” Her hand reached for his and gripped tight when he tried to rip himself away, pulling him into a hug. 

“He never calls anyone by their chosen name unless it's serious.” He was shaking so she held him a little tighter, “He last wrote mentioning that he and Marian were going to Adamant fortress with the Inquisition.”

He didn't continue, if Varric was writing now and addressing him as Anders then that meant bad news, right? He wouldn't do it otherwise, right?

She had only met Hawke once but it was memorable and they were great. Her heart started to pound in her chest when she realised someone else had gone to Adamant with the Inquisition and it felt like time froze as her eyes darted to the letters on the floor.

But she wouldn't let Anders go, he needed her. He peeled himself away as if he was coming to the same conclusion. That another person they both knew had also gone. 

Yet when he tried to move away, his legs gave way and he collapsed to the floor.

She tried to make the fall less painful by catching him part way down, yet she knew it wasn't the physical pain that was hurting him. It was the unknown. The letter he didn't want to open. Or the known, that the letter held serious news. News about someone dear, that he couldn't bear to know.

“Open it.”

“Anders,”

“Please.”

So she did, slowly and carefully she took away the wax seal and opened the letter.

_Dear Anders, I didn't want you hearing this from someone else. Hawke. Dammit, words are what I do best but when I want them to work the most they fail me. How do I tell you that the person you loved did a stupid and one of the bravest things I know of? How do I tell you that I can't say for certain that they are gone?_

_You should have seen it. They were amazing. I felt like I did that first time I saw them fight. They were inspiring and I was in awe. But someone had to stay behind. That's what the Inquisitor says. Alistair or Hawke. Alistair told them to leave._

_But you know Hawke. They couldn't let the one Warden with brains for miles sacrifice themselves. Knocked him out when he refused, made the Inquisitor carry him out. Made the choice for them._

_The Inquisitor told me to tell you. Hawke said  That you would know the moment your fade Rendezvous's would end. Also to tell you. That they love you._

_That they love you both. And that you know this, you know this to be true. That they wouldn't go down without a fight._

“Stop.” She looked into the face of her friend, the face stricken with grief. Moment passed before, “they stopped a few days ago.” Her brow furrows before her eyes widen at the realisation of his words. He hadn't seen Hawke in the fade for days.

Looking at her friends face she knew deep down it wasn't only him grieving. It was also Justice. Flashes of blue in his eyes and veins as the tears began to stream down his face.

Her own tears a mixture of grief and relief, with an added bit of guilt for feeling the relief of Alistair being okay, while her friends wept at the loss of their lover. So she did what she could, she took them in her arms and held them as they let out their emotions. No longer bottling them up.

Later she could thank the stone for letting Alistair be okay. Right now she would remain with her friends for however long they needed her.

But that didn't stop her looking down and mouthing the one thank you she really needed to say. “Thank you Hawke.”


End file.
